Friday, June 16, 2006 @ 11:01 PM
Today was prayer meet. A very different one indeed. One where I re-committed myself back to God once again.
How great it is to be who I want to be again- the one God wants me to be. (:
I feel my childlikeness coming back again.
It seemed like I've served so hard I've long forgotten the fundamentals of my needs: God, love and childlikeness. I've served too hard, met too much, troubled too much. I forgot about letting everything else go and just trust in God. I forgot about taking more time to know God more personally. I forgot dwell in His love.
How scary it is to forget about the fundamentals.
God, thanks for bringing me back.
It's really stupid of me. Haa. After so long, what's been holding me back was my pride. I wasn't allowing myself to surrender wholly unto God. That's why God can't seem to use me. And God spoke to me that He's been missing me a lot. That child that loves Him so earnestly, so willingly put aside everything else and seek Him wholeheartedly. Oh well. Sorry God, but thank God, I'm coming back to You again! (:
To serve You and seek You and love You with all my heart and all my mind and all my soul. Dear daddy, I LOVE YOU! (:
Anyway- led praise in prayer meet today! (: We sang "Follow". To tell you the truth, I DIDN'T REALLY PREPARE! >.<
I panic too much 'til i keep panicking then I forgot to prepare the lyrics and what to say and all. -.-' Oh gosh la, Yushan, how BLUNT can you be? >.< But anyway, there was mis-communication. I thought Debbie informed Matthias about the praise song, and in the end she didn't, 'cause she thought I informed Matthias already. And so, NO GUITARIST FOR PRAISE! 'Cause Matthias don't know how to play the song. I so want to die la.
So, in panic, I screamed in the room and keep praying in tongues. My heart is so mixed up and so anxious. So cham. I phoned Desmond and Marcus to ask if they could be the guitarist, but Desmond apparently would be late and Marcus wouldn't be going. So, I screamed even more. Keith commented that I screamed "very high-pitched". LOL. Anyways, I was so panicking, and then, Michelle exercised her gift of Word of Wisdom.
"Ask Wei Lun?"
OHMYGOSHMICHELLEILOVEYOU! Haha. So, I called Lun-gia and yes! He knows how to play "Follow"! But thank God for him, 'cause he was sick la.So, prayer meet started- AND I REALISED I HAVEN'T WRITE LYRICS! Ohmygosh, Yushan you can like go and die la. But thank God, Yihui and Debbie realised and went to write while everyone was praying for their schools. Thank God for Yihui and Debbie! Anyway, while leading.. Alamak, I forget to give signal! -.-' Wei Lun was like giving me the, oh-gosh-you-forgot-ah-never-mind-continue. But thank God it went well. -.-'' Haha. MUST BE GOD. : D
Yay!
And oh, oh, oh! Today's prayer meet was really great! There were LOADS of prophecies! And it was really a time spent between us and God. You know, like individually? How SWEET. (:
Thank God, thank God, thank God! : D
Amen + Hallelujah!